February 22, 2014 at 9:04 am #49350
Obsession is at the root of stuttering, as it is with every other mania, and every other fantastically important (to the individual) interest.
Stutterers obsess about stuttering.
It is right up there at the top of the most-important list.
It is practically all they think about. They become resentful and angry when others do not seem to take it as seriously as the stutterer does.
Nothing is so desired by the stutterer as being able to not-stutter.
It is THE most important thing in their lives.
The only reasonable way of changing this is to replace one obsession with another.
But this time, one that is not so destructive and inconvenient.
A distant second to this technique is to simply dump it and walk away. But this is beyond the capability of most, and so hardly to be recommended.
For me, the only thing that even came close to being as important as stuttering, was my lifelong search for Spiritual Enlightenment. And finally, it was that, that replaced my most-important obsession.
If you’re going to obsess about something, try to make sure it is an obsession that delivers good results. As opposed to something that thoroughly wrecks your life.April 10, 2014 at 6:32 pm #49566
I forget how long I have been fluent. Maybe four years. The fact that I really can’t remember, tells you how important it is. Not especially important.
I like the sound of my own voice. It is deep, clear, and carries authority.
I play with it. It can do all kinds of things. It is a peaceful voice when it wants to be, and thunderous when necessary.
Nobody understands me any better than they ever did, though, and this is an important observation.
People don’t understand each other. Because understanding doesn’t interest them.
Conversation isn’t often about understanding. It is about social posturing.
When you finally become fluent, you run into a big problem. You have been gone so long that you never catch up again. You never adapted to society as it rolled onwards to its current state. You got stuck, somewhere back in the day.
Fluency is nice. Even very-nice. But in the end, it really doesn’t do what you thought it would.
Knowing this is useful, if you still seek fluency. It isn’t nearly as big a prize as you think it is.
And the less importance you put upon it, the easier it will be to achieve.
It is ironic: like most stutterers, the only thing you ever pray-for, wish-for, dream-of, is fluency.
What happens, after you get your heart’s desire?
I did. And now I no longer have a heart’s desire.
And that, believe it or not, is the best part.July 5, 2015 at 12:19 pm #50437
the_crow – you understand a lot, I can only thank you for sharing the insight you have.August 13, 2015 at 1:06 pm #50493
Wilkommen, der fleigermeister. Nice to hear someone say so, every hundred years or so 🙂September 7, 2016 at 4:24 am #52772
I am still trying to not try, silence my mind etc. To reiterate, your advice and words are the best I have heard on the topic of stuttering. So for what its worth, thanks again.
Very few people are worth the effort, but for some it will be priceless.
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